Calorie Ethics (A Philosophy For Junk Food)

(The proper philosophy when it comes to food that is bad for you.)

Calorie Ethics

When it comes to food (especially desserts) I have a simple rule:

If you are going to do it wrong, do it right.

We can all agree on two things.
1)   Desserts are generally unhealthy for you
2)   Desserts are best when fresh, right out of the oven, or made that day

Knowing those two things, why would you ever eat something that came out of a box or had to be shipped three days from a factory? Generally, every dessert bought from a Starbucks, grocery store, Costco, or found in your office break room is not worth the calories. If you are going to consume sugar and saturated fats then make sure it’s worth the pounds you are going to pack on. Want a donut? Go to the Donut Man in Glendora. Want a cupcake? Go to Auntie Em’s in Eagle Rock. Want a croissant? Go to Proof Bakery in Atwater. Refrigeration and preservatives fundamentally change the chemistry of baked goods so make sure the calories you consume are worth it. And don’t eat soy ice cream, lowfat cookies, or a paleo muffin. Eat real ice cream less often but indulge in some Carmela.

 If you are going to do it wrong, do it right.

You also can take this to an even further extreme by just throwing shit away. We already agreed that things taste better when fresh right? So if you bake a cake, have a slice, and then throw the rest away. Why? Because if you are going to do it wrong (eat dessert), then do it right (when its fresh).  This is also going to prevent you from eating the rest of the dessert over the next couple days because “out of sight out of mind”. Many of you will gasp at the concept of this: “Why are you wasting food? What about all the starving kids in Somalia?” Unless you’re Fed-Exing your leftovers to Somalia, you gorging your self and getting fatter isn’t helping Somalian kids any.

I carry this mantra also to other meals at home. One of my favorite things in the world is fresh bread so I frequently buy baguettes from the Silverlake Cheese Store. Why would you eat a preservative laden loaf of bread that has been shipped from Idaho when you can eat something fresh and local? This rule can apply to any kind of food (fresh being better) but there is a point where you have to factor in cost. I don’t like to eat frozen meat but I can’t go out and slaughter a cow every day for a burger. By just adding that extra step of having to travel to go get these treats you might just pass up on them together — and that would be the ultimate in avoiding bad calories.

With foods that are unhealthy but delicious such as breads and desserts, you should always follow the rule:

If you are going to do it wrong, do it right.

[Photo: The best macarons in Paris enjoyed in the Tuileries in Paris, France] 


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