The Diminishing Returns of Beauty

(What I imagine the pros and cons to be for a stunningly beautiful woman.)


You are sitting in a coffee house.
The door swings open and a gentle chime rings.
You look up and in walks a 5’10” vision of female perfection.

Boots. Jeans. Blouse. Lips. Hair. Like a black hole of attention the entire shop, male and female, turns and looks at the new energy in the room. For a moment the universe stops. Pupils dilate. Mouths dry. Hands moisten. Everyone in the joint stops mid-conversation and sits up a little more straight as she sashays up to the counter.

This is Los Angeles, and this very thing happens several times a day all over the city. But the thing no one considers, is how much it must suck to be a beautiful woman.

As I was watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (for the articles), I thought about everything these “Angels” have t go through including the constant diets, workouts, and judgment they have to put up with on a daily basis.

Now take that same coffee shop example and make that woman Alessandra Ambrosio. Once she walks in that room, every woman instantly hates her and sees her as a genetic threat, and every man gawks at her. Women judge her to be stupid, and men automatically want to have sex with her. Now make that same coffee shop every single room she walks in to every day of her life.

If beauty in the human animal is a selectively favorable trait, then at some point on the incline of benefits there is a sharp drop off where there starts to be diminishing returns. How so? Your gender instantly hates you, judges you to be stupid, and has their jealous claws out. Most men are afraid of you, give you a creepy stare, and will almost never ask you out thus your dating pool is limited to your agent and your personal trainer. You’ve heard attractive women say before that they “never get asked out,” and for most part this might be true. But what if the opposite is true where ALL guys hit on her. How exhausting must that be to constantly deflect the advances of men, and as much as you may want to, you can’t be polite about it. Men are thick headed, and they need to be told things bluntly. After being treated like this by both genders for long enough, she may develop an off putting demeanor just for the sake of self-preservation. In order for a stunningly beautiful woman to remain sane, she would have to either develop that bitch shield, or just be completely oblivious to all the attention she is getting in order to cope with the blessing/curse that is beauty.

So am I saying that you should have a little sympathy for Alessandra Ambrosio? A woman who has a last name that is reminiscent of the food of Greek gods. No, F her she can suck it, she won the genetic lottery. Just like any fixed attribute in life (short, tall, bald, busty, blind, deaf) you have to learn to live with it, and I think she’s doing just fine.

Besides, I’m more of a Miranda Kerr kind of guy.

[Photo: Larchmont Village in Los Angeles]


8 responses to “The Diminishing Returns of Beauty

  1. I love your site! Fun posts on topics I LOVE discussing. I don’t think any beautiful woman has a problem being beautiful… Both men and women, treat beautiful people better. They get paid better, they get the promotions at work, etc. Put simply, life is easier if you are beautiful. Beautiful women know this, and the smart ones cultivate an engaging personality to make the most of winning the looks lottery.

    • Well put LC, thanks. While I’m traveling in South America I noticed it’s everyone’s favorite topic, from any culture. I also wrote an ebook “How Much Does Love Cost: 33 Essays on Modern Dating” if you’re looking for more. Chat soon.

  2. Pingback: Do You Really Only Attract “The Crazy Ones”?·

  3. Sad that my “look of enchantment” is deemed “creepy”.

    But yes, I never ask her out, mainly because masculine boldness is demonized. I have no idea what kind of girl she is, and she could be the kind who will raise hell for nothing, and falsely accuse me of something simply because I don’t meet her standards.

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