10 Ways To NOT Hit On A Woman At A Bar

(A couple tips for upping your success rate at bars, but from a woman’s point of view)

By now you’ve read my 10 Tips For Hitting On A Woman At A Bar but how about some advice from a woman.

Here are a couple words of wisdom from my lovely, talented, and femme fatale friend Kelly Daly:

  1. There is a fine line between cocky and confident- cocky usually comes across as, ‘player’ AKA a piece of shit. Confidence on the other hand, conveys that you know what you want and you’re not too big of a pussy to get it. Grow a pair- but keep it in check.
  2. Don’t do anything you’ve seen in romantic comedies. For instance, any move/phrase/motion Ryan Gosling does. Don’t do it.  YOU ARE NOT RYAN GOSLING. There is no way you are as attractive as Ryan Gosling. He can get away with anything- you are normal and cannot.
  3. Do not stare, ask a girl to come to you or touch her inappropriately. Be aware of personal space, don’t be creepy. Girls never make out with the guy that offers to rub her shoulders in the bar.
  4. If she looks at you like she doesn’t want to talk to you- then she doesn’t want to fucking talk to you.
  5. Do not send over a drink. You are not that cool. Plus, there is always a slight worry that you’re trying to drug her. Whenever I hear the phrase, “let me buy you a drink” all I hear is- I’m boring and don’t have anything interesting.
  6. Avoid negativity. Even if you are innately negative (like myself) set it aside for a moment and try to keep it positive. A smile would be nice. FYI- the brooding, cynic-thing doesn’t work, unless you are super attractive. i.e. Leonardo DiCaprio or Johnny Depp. You’re not this attractive, otherwise you’d be out having sex with a hot girl right now.
  7. If you’re ugly … and you have a pretty good idea if you are, aim low. The prettiest girl in the bar is not going to fuck you.  And, if you don’t know you’re ugly- go ask the prettiest girl in the bar if you are; she’ll be honest. Trying to nail the ‘hot chick’ isn’t always the best move, look around for someone you can actually have a conversation with.
  8. Lead with YOU. Girls like “funny”, but you don’t need to be a stand up comedian. If you’re cute, kind of awkward and approachable it’s not that hard to get laid. Pick up lines are so dorky and lame that they sometimes work. It also makes the girl feel like she’s in a 1980’s brat-pack movie, which is cool. 
  9. Don’t talk about yourself while staring at her tits, if you’re going to stare at her tits, then talk about her tits. (Hey, at least you’re being honest.) Be warned: if the same girl fucks you after that, she’s crazy and is going to steal something from your house.
  10. Contrary to popular belief it’s not always about looks. I’m aware this negates some of my above statements, but if you’re an interesting, not desperate, moderately cute human being; you can get lucky. Geek is chic right now. Note: not the pushy know-it-all geeks or the fetish porn watching geeks. Use common sense people! Intelligence is attractive.

Overall the most important rule is to LISTEN. Once you make initial contact and she doesn’t  seem to hate you, turn the focus to her. As lame as it is, and as old fashioned as it sounds, women are women. 99% still buy into fairy tale bullshit. Listen to what she likes, pay attention, be courteous and think romance. BUT, not too much romance, you don’t want to scare the shit out of her. Being a decent human being in the midst of a bar full of macho bros/hipsters will attract far more bees to your honey than to vinegar. In this case, vinegar is Ax Body Spray and man jewelry.

image[Kelly Daly, the self-procliamed “Actor, Model, Smart Ass”, can be found @kellyddaly & tumblr.]

[To read the original “10 Tips For Hitting On A Woman At A Bar” click here]


One response to “10 Ways To NOT Hit On A Woman At A Bar

  1. Pingback: 10 Tips For Hitting On A Woman At A Bar | Chris Backley·

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