(It never rains here. Feelin gloomy? Here’s what you should do. As seen on the Thought Catalog.)
I don’t understand.
There are droplets of water falling from the sky.
This is Los Angeles right?
Is this what the Mayans were talking about?
Despite having on average of 320 days of sunshine a year, yes it does rain in LA from time to time. So here’s a list of things you can do besides freak out on the 101 and drive really slow.
- Alphabetize your hair products.
- Do the robot naked in your kitchen.
- Go to LACMA and stare at a painting while repeatedly making the noise “huh”.
- Order Indian food online like it’s a Naan issue.
- Call AT&T to talk about your bill. End up arguing with the agent about the merits of pie vs. cake.
- Finally wear those pair of Hunters you splurged on.
- Make an online dating profile. See how many different ways you can say, “I never do this” or “guess I’ll give this a shot”.
- Walk through a graveyard listening to Japanese synth pop.
- Stand in a plaza and spin in circles with your mouth open collecting water like Andy Dufresne.
- Sit at coffee shop with a crossword, ask the cute guy next to you if he knows the answer to 4 down. If he doesn’t, its not meant to be.
- Tell at least 17 strangers in line with you at Starbucks a derivative of “I love the rain” or “yea but we need it”.
- Digitize your Cat Stevens CDs.
- Throw away Cat Stevens CDs.
- Buy new Cat Stevens CDs at Amoeba.
- Catch up on your TV box set of “Full House” (that Uncle Joey is such a card).
- Count how many people are wearing shorts.
- Finally use all that useless stationary you bought from that boutique in SoHo to catch up on correspondence. Realize how much stamps cost.
- Practice spoken word on your cat.
- Make YouTube videos of you doing Christopher Walken impressions. Never show to anyone except that cute girl at the raw juice bar. Pretend to get embarrassed. Oh shit. You have parsley in your teeth.
- Contemplate quitting your job and send out a mass text message about corporate greed.
- Pack your lunch for tomorrow.
- Lay in bed with your girlfriend all day to see how many Cheez Its you can throw in each other’s mouths.
- It’s probably about time you changed a filter somewhere in your house.
- Write a poem about linoleum. Autotune it. Submit it to David Lynch.
- Listen to audiobooks in Romanian while wearing a cape.
- Zombie fan fiction.
- Go shopping at Trader Joes but only buy Pirates Booty because all you really wanted was to hear that cool *squick squick* noise your shoes make.
- Take a shot every time your upstairs neighbor laughs at episodes of The Big Bang Theory. Contemplate if there is anything actually good on CBS.
- You might know the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air but do you know it backwards?
- Yea but do you really need this many T-shirts?
- Get dressed up as ridiculous as possible. Now your either ready for Electric Boogaloo or Zumba class.
- Contemplate Jello.
- Buy $30 of really expensive cheeses to make a super grilled cheese. Instagram it. Eat it in front of your fish.
- Maybe Target West Hollywood isn’t busy at this time.
- Go to the downtown library and look up a travel guide for a country you’d never go to. Price out flights and plan an itinerary. Abort when you realize how much travel vaccinations cost. Have a consolation tajine.
- Stalk the hottest person from your high school on Facebook. Photoshop a unibrow.
- Watch the honey badger video again.
- Love yourself (but not like that).
[Photo: Los Angeles after the rain from the Griffith Observatory]