(When people ask you these three questions you frequently answer ambiguously. Here’s why you shouldn’t. As seen on the Thought Catalog.)
Hey you, yea I’m talking to you.
Your indifference is pissing the rest of us off.
Apathy isn’t cool anymore, unless you’re a hipster then it appears to be eternal.
I realize there are a couple questions that friends/family/coworkers can ask on a daily basis that can be a bit puzzling at first but after you ponder it for a bit, it’s ok to share your opinion. Check this out, the insane thing is we are asking cause we actually want to get some sort of feedback from you. Totes cray cray right? Since this is a democracy the people that you ask these three questions actually value your feedback and genuinely want to hear from you.
“What Do You Want To Eat?”
This one is my personal favorite because it’s asked by several different types of people several times a week and frequently followed by “I don’t know”. You realize that when we ask you this question we don’t want a specific restaurant and food item on that menu right? We just want general guidelines like “sushi” or “let’s sit on a patio” or “Venice”. We can take it from there and offer several suggestions but we need a funnel for our thoughts. It also doesn’t help if you say something like “I don’t know somewhere casual but not formal, somewhere not too pricey but not too cheap”. Die in a fire.
“What time do you want to go to the bar?”
There are three times that are the proper answer to this question. 5:00, 8:00, or 11:00 (if you live in New York you can add two hours to each of these times). We have schedules too and we’d like to know what kind of night we’re in for. So what do each of these times mean?
- 5:00 – I really shouldn’t go out but we’re going to happy hour after work for some apps and margs. I really want to get home in time for American Idol and/or to tuck my kids in bed.
- 8:00 – I want to go out with the cool kids in their younger 20’s but I have this presentation early in the morning that my boss is going to kill me if I don’t nail. This is usually reserved for people hovering around 30 and is also the prime hour for a date.
- 11:00 – I want to get black out drunk and fuck whatever fits its jeans properly.
“What do you want out of this?”
I get it. You guys are dating and you don’t want to tip your hand too early so you can stay aloof and mysterious and protect your too often trampled on delicate heart but at some point one of you is going to have to put it out there. Someone is going to have to take the risk because if you play these mind games for too long you will eventually get exhausted of each other. There’s a reason they call it “falling in love” and that’s because sometimes you have to jump off the cliff and hope there’s a beautiful fluffy heart shaped pillow at the bottom of the chasm. Tragically there usually isn’t, but you cannot truly love if you don’t give yourself completely and let go. Just “fall”.
So stop it with your indifference and saying “I don’t know” because it’s taxing trying to read your mind. We ask for your opinion because we like you and we truly do want to hear from you.
So let’s go get a burger, meet you at the bar at 8?
[Photo: The welcome sign to Venice Beach, CA]