Decoding First Date Conversation

(What’s the real meaning behind the questions asked on a first date?)

Dates are awkward job interviews with the potential for sex and a relationship after.

With job interviews they ask you questions with hidden meanings like, “what are your strengths and weaknesses”, “what are you career goals”, and “where do you see yourself in ten years”, to try to find more out about you. A date is very much the same thing but there’s booze involved and the questions are different.


     When was your last relationship?
     How much of a player are you?

     What are your ultimate goals?
     What’s your earning potential?

     Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
     Will you be faithful?

     What do you look for in a woman?
     Am I her?

     Do you like kids?
     Do you want kids cause it’s important to me? Also, are you husband material?

     I love sports.
     I will support your interests because I’m interested in you.

     Are you close to your family?
     Will you be a good father?

     I’m really busy next week.
     I’m not interested in seeing you anymore.

     I have to wake up early tomorrow.
     No ass for you.


     What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
     How adventurous are you in the bedroom?

     Where do you usually meet guys?
     Are you a bar scene chick? How slutty are you?

     What kind of guys do you usually date?
     Am I him?

     What do you like to do for fun?
     How slutty are you?

     Where do you go to the gym?
     Are you going to get fat if we start dating?

     What happened in your last relationship?
     Are you high maintenance?

     I’m really busy next week.
     I’m not interested in seeing you any more.

     I gotta wake up early tomorrow.
     I probably don’t want to have sex with you, but if you push enough then sure.

It’s best to have some pre-scripted answers if you want to keep your cards close to your chest. The underlying theme is either “how good is she going to be in bed” or “is this guy husband material”? Which, while different, are pretty much aligned with what each gender wants. A guy’s preferences may evolve over time but the woman’s for the most part will stay consistent.

Women are big on double meaning and inferred communication. Men are pretty succinct and straightforward. That’s why men have no idea what women want, or what they’re thinking, unless they tell us. That’s hypocritical for the female gender that always preaches “communication is key” in a relationship. We don’t and usually can’t, read in to things like women do. Most of the problems in relationships come from communication so just say what you mean, and say what you want. Anything else will just create drama, the instant man repellent. There’s a large population of men out there that won’t even bother with a complicated woman. If a woman makes it that hard in the beginning, it just going to get worse as the potential relationship progresses.

If “communication is key”, then make it a priority.

[Photo: The instructions on the Manhattan side of the Brooklyn Bridge in New York, NY.]


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