How To: Get Out of the Friend Zone

(Does she “think of you like a brother”? That’s your fault.)


The friend zone.

It’s called that because it’s implied that you don’t want to be there. You wanted more, but the other party shut you out. It you’re a girl put there by a guy, there’s a 90% chance it’s because he’s just not physically attracted to you. But if you’re a younger guy put there by a girl, it’s a little bit more complicated.

So why do you always get put in the friend zone? Let me guess, yet another girl gave you the speech that she “thinks of you like a brother”. She then probably followed that up with, “I cherish what we have, and I doesn’t want to jeopardize that” right? If you’ve heard that too often then there’s good news and bad news.

The bad news is, it’s 100% your fault. The good news is, it’s 100% your fault.

How can that be? Well, if you’re not gross, you’re probably in the friend zone because you’re too nice. Most girls don’t want to be with a safe guy so you need to develop more of an edge because you’re boring, unadventurous, and that’s probably going to carry over to the bedroom. You’re the chivalrous knight and she doesn’t want that. She wants to date a John Maclaine or an Indiana Jones because they’re dynamic and exciting. You’re boring, so don’t be boring. Ask yourself a question and be honest with your answer, if you were the type of girl you seek, would you date you?

The good news is the next one that comes along is completely 100% in your control. There’s a small window for action when it comes to getting to know someone where you get to define the relationship. If you’re interested, make your intentions known. If she doesn’t reciprocate or feel the same then move on.

So the answer to “how do I get out of the friend zone” is that you can’t. She’s just not that in to you. If she was, then you’d be together. Move on to the next one, because there are plenty of other women out there in the world. The biggest reason you’re infatuated with this one is because you feel like you don’t have other options. Engage more women, then you’ll have more choices. This is going increase your confidence exponentially, which is going to increase your chances with women even more. This is also paradoxically going to make the original woman you were attracted to come your way, but by this point you don’t care.

You’re only in the friend zone if you put yourself there. So next time, don’t make that mistake and you won’t be stuck there.

[Photo: Street art in Silverlake. Is the robot fighting the wave or causing it? It’s up to you.]


6 responses to “How To: Get Out of the Friend Zone

  1. Men and women get put in friend zone for the same reason: lack of physical attraction. Women think of themselves as polite, and the “friend” speech is something we’ve all memorized by ninth grade to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. I’ve given that speech out a hundred times (and so have all my friends) and never meant it once, not one time. Back when I was single, if guy was hot, I wouldn’t give damn about risking the friendship. The few times someone got out of the friend zone with me, it was from being nice to me, not being a jerk. Being a jerk is not going to make an “ugly”dude more attractive.

  2. Uh, the friend zone. Sigh. Why do we have it? So many broken hearts. I guess it’s just human nature, people just can’t seem to help but long after others. I can’t imagine a world without it.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s