“How Do I Get This Girl to Like Me?”

(If you want more women to like you, then you have to ask yourself the right question.)


Far too often guys ask the question “how do I get this girl to like me?”

What they should be asking instead is: “how do I become the type of man that women like?” Those are very different statements for a couple reasons. The first one being that you’re trying to directly affect the will of another by “tricking her” in to having emotion for you. The second question addresses things that are within your control — your will.

So assuming you’re now asking yourself the right question, then how do you become the type of man that women like? The basic way is to take someone that you know or a celebrity that is popular with women, and dissect which qualities women like about him. They are probably traits like confidence, intelligence, family oriented, physique, cultured, financially secure, genuine, expert at his craft etc. What do all of those things have in common? They’re all within your control to change. Not a single one of those qualities that I’ve listed can you not change about yourself with some effort. The only thing you can’t change is your genetics (i.e. the way you physically look), but the great thing about women is they aren’t superficial assholes like men are. Although how attractive you are can help, women don’t place a large emphasis on our appearance; they place greater value on other things when seeking a mate, things that you can change.

So how do you start to change? Easy, pick one thing that you believe needs to be improved about yourself and start doing it. Learn to cook, travel more, become a film buff, hit the gym, join Toastmasters, dress better, volunteer, read more etc. Life isn’t just about racking up biological years, it’s also about psychological change. If you’re not constantly evolving as you get older then you’re staying the same, which is not the secret to life’s journey. You need to constantly improve yourself as you get older for the sake of personal growth. Is that going to be easy? Of course not, but if it’s going to make you a better person then who cares how long it’s going to take, just start doing it and make progress to getting there.

The people that ask “how do I get this girl to like me” are guys — not men. The great thing about solving “how do I become the type of man that women like” is that it’s going to benefit you beyond the opposite sex, because everyone will like you more. When you’re more interesting and personable it helps all aspects of your life from business to social to romantic relationships. Become a better man and you’ll be happier with yourself and then others will recognize that and respond to you.

[Photo: On the sidewalk in Silverlake, California]


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