We’re men and we’re tired of being discriminated against.
That sounds kind of ridiculous coming from the mouth of a man doesn’t it. Why is it that women can get away with saying something like that but a man can’t? That’s not equality. The reason is because men are the dominant gender, so complaining from a “higher” position comes off as petty. If men weren’t the dominant gender, then feminism wouldn’t be have progressed to its nebulous “fourth wave,” that most women themselves can’t even describe. All animals have a dominant gender, with hyenas and elephants it’s the females, with humans it’s the males. That’s why it comes off poorly when men complain about discrimination, and women are a lot more vocal than men with their problems. So are men just as discriminated against as women? The answer is yes, but in different ways.
With women they often complain about being “sex objects,” knowing that their success in society, especially with the opposite sex, is heavily weighed upon their looks and their youth. Women are especially more aware of this as they become older, when the looks they formerly took advantage of begin to fade. A woman knows that her sexual market value (SMV) significantly drops off as she ages. When she was in her younger twenties enjoying all of the free drinks and had the power to manipulate weaker — generally younger — men, she used her looks to her advantage, but as she gets older she realizes she can’t do that anymore then suddenly cries for equality. The theory that the media has warped our idea of beauty doesn’t matter, whatever beauty is, young women take advantage of it and I would absolutely do the same if I were them. Beauty in the human animal is a selectively favorable trait and it brings certain advantages. By all means, if you’ve got it, flaunt it.
On the flip side of that, men are like wine, we get better with age. Why? It has two do with two things. One, women mature at a lot faster rate then men, so it takes a while for the maturity of a man to catch up with what women desire; that maturity also brings confidence. Two, the older a man gets the more earning potential he has; this is how men are discriminated against. On the blog, The Good Men Project, an article called “Five Important Things Women Don’t Know About Men,” Noah Brand points out that “we know that our attractiveness, our worth…is all about how much money we can make. And it’s exhausting.” So while women constantly complain about “sex objects,” men quietly wallow in the despair of being “success objects.” Of course the counter argument from all women is that “I make my own money and I can buy my own things, I’m not like that.” If that was true then you would buy your own drinks and your online dating profile wouldn’t use the euphemism that you want a guy with “security.” Men, we already know we’re discriminated against but we have to understand that our plight is just as unfair as that of women.
Men and women are both discriminated against equally, but in different ways. We just have to realize these things aren’t going to change. Men can pretend to love more mature women, but the large majority of men are still going to date the younger and more attractive ones. That’s why men with access to almost any woman in the world, like a Leonardo DiCaprio or a George Clooney, will always date the younger hotter women, and in the reverse that’s why younger women will always date the richer or more famous guy, he can provide for her more. So you can’t blame women for putting on makeup and push up bras, just like you can’t blame men for boasting about their jobs or flaunting their wealth with their cars. We can easily sit here and say that we’re going both try really hard to see beyond beauty and wealth, we can have arguments on CNN and Huffiington Post or even throw in a few court cases and protests, but when it comes down to it, we’re always going to go with our instincts. Both genders are discriminated against and unfair or not, women are going to be judged by their beauty and men are going to be judged by their wealth. If it’s a mate you seek, you’re just going have to do what it takes to adapt to that.
[Photo: Street Art in Lima, Peru]
[While I’m in Argentina updating my alternate site and travel blog, I’ve reduced the price of “How Much Does Love Cost: 33 Essays on Modern Dating” to $1. Check it out and share it with your friends.]